Introvert Does Not = Weird

I will never choose to spend a Saturday night out over one in at home.  I prefer the self-check in the grocery store. I don’t want to stop and talk to my neighbor who is working in their garage when I walk by with my dog. I love my church family, but sometimes I slip out the door quickly when service is over.  

Some people may read this as rude or that I dislike them. It’s not. This is the predicament of an introvert. It takes a large amount of effort and energy to spend time in large groups socializing or being out in public. I don’t find that relaxing. I prefer small meaningful relationships, such as having a few people over for dinner, rather then spending my evening out meeting up with a large group. When I go home to Alaska, I loathe the idea of going in the grocery store (keep in mind, there’s only 2) or THE (singular) coffee shop and running into 50 people from my childhood just to tell them all “Doing great. Yep, still happily married and in school. Nope, not pregnant or moving back.” It’s not that I dislike seeing these people. An extrovert thrives off the energy of other people and being around them. Contrastingly, this requires a lot of energy from introverts.

With that being said, some people are surprised that I might consider myself an introvert. Some might say I’m outspoken or bold, whereas introverts are mistakenly described as shy.  Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t talk to people all day or speak your mind; you just feel like you need a nap afterwards. Somebody also once said to me ‘you’re too normal to be an introvert.’ Being an introvert doesn’t mean you are weird either. It means you prefer more solitary activities to recharge and to relax. Some people go out until 2am with a big group of people on Friday night to unwind. I stay home and watch movies. Seth is quite introverted too, probably more so then me. Some people think ‘oh you guys never hang out because you’re married.’ Being married has nothing to do with it, and has everything to do with we’re exhausted from the week and just don’t find that relaxing (you’re welcome to come over and hang out and watch movies with us though!). Plus, in addition to being an introvert I am not a night person. Will gladly get up at 6:00AM to meet up for breakfast on Saturday, but my brain starts malfunctioning around 9:00PM.

Also, I am entering a profession where I spend all day talking to people, and not just talking to them, but listening intently, loving people who are hard to love, and responding with intentional, meaningful thoughts. The last thing I want to do after a day of that is make small talk with the poor Kroger employee who has to deal with my short answers and avoiding eye contact.

Being introverted does not mean you are shy and weird. We just recharge differently. So if you are an extrovert and feel like somebody you are trying to get to know is being rude, maybe they are introvert and you need a different approach. Try coffee in the morning rather then drinks at night, come over for dinner rather then dinner out, etc. I think society in general is very judgmental of introverts, but maybe we just prefer to spend more time observing and alone contemplating then talking, which quite frankly, our world probably needs to do a little more of.