First World Problems Whine Session

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I haven’t been feeling that inspired. More like

impatient and frustrated.

  

Those are more accurate verbs to describe how I’ve been feeling.

 Impatient: I have 73 days until I graduate. Hopefully not too long after that will start working. I am so ready to start my dream career in a field I love in a profession that is changing the health care world as we know it. I am impatiently waiting for the day that I have a paycheck, and I don’t have to strategically plan my driving because I need an 1/8 tank of gas to last me another 2 weeks. We had tacos the other night, and we like sour cream on our tacos, but I didn’t get it because it would have put me over budget. I just want to be able to buy sour cream people!

Frustrated: About stuff and money. Stupid, I know. But the Honda is broken down at the mechanic when we have no funds to fix it let alone get another car (which is really what we need to do), feeling overwhelmed by students loans but the alternative was simply just not going, and most of my wardrobe is clothes I’ve had since I was 18/19 years old. I’m about to start interviewing for one of the fastest growing, highest valued careers in the country, and I have nothing to wear. So yes, I am frustrated about this. Everyone always says that once Seth and I are out of this phase of life, “you’ll appreciate it so much more then people who have been handed everything.” No. All this is going to do is make me the most calloused, unempathetic parent on the planet when my kids are trying to make their way in the world. I already feel sorry for them for my lack of sympathy. 

So what can I do about this? We’re reading through Hebrews at Bible study this semester. Hebrews Ch. 5:7-8  says “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered…”

This is referring to the night before Jesus was crucified. That night he was in the garden of Gesthsemane asking God ‘Father if you are willing, may this cup be taken for me.’ Aka: I’m feeling just a tad stressed out about my imminent crucifixion tomorrow. If there is another way for the world’s sins to be atoned for, now would be an ideal time to intercede and take this responsibility from me if it is your will to do so.

What have I learned from this? We are not exempt from suffering. Even the only sinless person to ever walk to earth was subjected to great suffering. And the only right way to migrate through periods of suffering is to reverently submit to God’s will and be obedient. What happens when you do? Well Jesus conquered death and saved the world. I’d say that’s a pretty good outcome.

So what do I need to do? Endure sour-creamless tacos, find a way to make my current clothes suitable for interviews, and fervently pray for the Honda (You all can too. It needs it). Oh, and realize how ridiculous the things I’m frustrated about are. 

Introvert Does Not = Weird

I will never choose to spend a Saturday night out over one in at home.  I prefer the self-check in the grocery store. I don’t want to stop and talk to my neighbor who is working in their garage when I walk by with my dog. I love my church family, but sometimes I slip out the door quickly when service is over.  

Some people may read this as rude or that I dislike them. It’s not. This is the predicament of an introvert. It takes a large amount of effort and energy to spend time in large groups socializing or being out in public. I don’t find that relaxing. I prefer small meaningful relationships, such as having a few people over for dinner, rather then spending my evening out meeting up with a large group. When I go home to Alaska, I loathe the idea of going in the grocery store (keep in mind, there’s only 2) or THE (singular) coffee shop and running into 50 people from my childhood just to tell them all “Doing great. Yep, still happily married and in school. Nope, not pregnant or moving back.” It’s not that I dislike seeing these people. An extrovert thrives off the energy of other people and being around them. Contrastingly, this requires a lot of energy from introverts.

With that being said, some people are surprised that I might consider myself an introvert. Some might say I’m outspoken or bold, whereas introverts are mistakenly described as shy.  Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t talk to people all day or speak your mind; you just feel like you need a nap afterwards. Somebody also once said to me ‘you’re too normal to be an introvert.’ Being an introvert doesn’t mean you are weird either. It means you prefer more solitary activities to recharge and to relax. Some people go out until 2am with a big group of people on Friday night to unwind. I stay home and watch movies. Seth is quite introverted too, probably more so then me. Some people think ‘oh you guys never hang out because you’re married.’ Being married has nothing to do with it, and has everything to do with we’re exhausted from the week and just don’t find that relaxing (you’re welcome to come over and hang out and watch movies with us though!). Plus, in addition to being an introvert I am not a night person. Will gladly get up at 6:00AM to meet up for breakfast on Saturday, but my brain starts malfunctioning around 9:00PM.

Also, I am entering a profession where I spend all day talking to people, and not just talking to them, but listening intently, loving people who are hard to love, and responding with intentional, meaningful thoughts. The last thing I want to do after a day of that is make small talk with the poor Kroger employee who has to deal with my short answers and avoiding eye contact.

Being introverted does not mean you are shy and weird. We just recharge differently. So if you are an extrovert and feel like somebody you are trying to get to know is being rude, maybe they are introvert and you need a different approach. Try coffee in the morning rather then drinks at night, come over for dinner rather then dinner out, etc. I think society in general is very judgmental of introverts, but maybe we just prefer to spend more time observing and alone contemplating then talking, which quite frankly, our world probably needs to do a little more of.