1 Thing to Do Before You Turn Any Age Whether You're Single, Dating, Engaged, or Married

An article titled "23 Things To Do Besides Get Engaged Before You're 23" has been circulating around in addition to lots of other lists and rebuttals. This may sound strange coming from somebody who got married when they were 19, but I appreciate the idea of this list. It seems like the natural progression of life is to go to college, get engaged sometime near the end of college, and then shortly after graduation get married, and the list basically says no you don't have to do that, and I think that's great! I have many single friends who say 'I feel so left out because everyone is getting engaged or married, and I'm not even dating anyone!' which is sad. Congratulations to the people who are engaged or married. I love being married! But singleness is a gift in and of itself. Not everyone is a traditional college student let alone goes to college. Not everyone will meet their spouse in college, if they ever have a spouse at all. Not everyone should just get married because that's 'the next step.'

The basic premise of this article seemed to be: don't do what is expected, but enjoy being young! Be a little irresponsible! Be free as a bird! Do fun things! But I also have to say that I didn't like many things about this article, and really the main thing was that the 'to-do list' was stupid. That's right, it was just stupid. One thing was 'stand in front of a window naked.' Why would you do that? How is that a learning experience? How are you a better person by doing that? It seems like this whole notion of being young and free is to do things that will make you a better person, shape your world view, cause you to grow and learn, and take risks. So here's my list. It only contains one thing. Do you REALLY want to do something courageous, crazy, and something that will change your life?? Do you want an experience that you will REALLY learn something about yourself that is a little scary and irresponsible!? Do this:

#1. MOVE AWAY FROM WHERE YOU GREW UP OR WHERE YOU HAVE PRIMARILY ALWAYS LIVED. I always find it ironic that the people who are so proud of "being young and enjoying it to the fullest" are most often always the ones who are still living in the same place they've always lived. This seems so silly! It is a giant world out there! And what better way to learn about it then live in it for awhile (awhile defined as at least 2 years. You are barely getting to know an area after just 1 year)!! And no Alaskans, I do not mean move to Anchorage from Soldotna. Roanokers, moving into town from Franklin County doesn't count either. Neither does moving somewhere else in Ohio from Marietta. I mean MOVE. FAR AWAY. Away from family, somewhere totally different from where you have always known, to a place where you know NOBODY. Sure, you learn things when you travel or even move a few hours away, but you become an entirely different person (in a good way) when you LIVE somewhere TOTALLY different. When you live somewhere, you learn about that culture. You learn about different world views. You learn to love and appreciate lots of different types of people.  The concept of time is different. Music is different. Interests are different. Lifestyles are different. Concept of money is different. I could go on forever, and I cannot even articulate well how valuable and amazing it has been to live in different parts of the country. Not that Seth and I have lived in a different country or anything, but life is SO different in Alaska compared to the midwest compared to the south.

Finally, Miriam Adeney said it best. "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more then one place." If there is one last thing I could say about the benefit of living somewhere else, it is the people. I am so thankful for this stage of life and all the people who have been part of it, and although Alaska is always home and it is incredibly difficult to be away from our families, if I hadn't taken that first flight from Anchorage to Columbus in January of 2009, I would never have met my Ohio and Virginia family, and I wouldn't be the same me I am today.