Body image. What a loaded
topic but the world needs to start talking about it. We live in a society with
one of the strangest paradigms. We are the most obese and unhealthy we have
ever been but yet perhaps the most obsessed with being thin. Here are my thoughts
on this (fyi, I’ll be talking more women because I am female. I realize men
have body image issues too but I am not a male, therefore feel weird addressing
that):
First of all, I know that
there are many different body types. My sweet Gram made me very aware of this
on my last visit home in March. She was comparing how differently my sister and
I were shaped. She compared Rach to Jennifer Lopez and then concluded about me,
“Not you Mon. You more like that Justin Bieber boy.” Thanks Gram. However, replay that in your
head said by a tiny Filipino woman in broken English and it can never be
insulting. But that is not what this is about.
So anyways, I realize much
of what I’m about to say is easy for me sitting here at 5’2” with a similar
frame as Justin Bieber. But here it goes:
We have a problem. Our
country is obese. People who we now consider ‘average’ or just ‘over weight’
are in reality actually obese because the bell curve of our society’s weight
distribution has shifted to the right. But lots of these women are so
beautiful!!
First, what is beauty
anyways? Historically, beauty has been associated with actually being overweight.
If you look at historical paintings, the women are much fuller. But back then,
that meant you had money for food, lived a stable life, and perhaps didn’t have
to do manual labor all day. What about now? Beauty is considered very thin and
fit. Is that because thin fit people have more time to exercise? They have
money for gym memberships? Don’t say because they have money for healthy food
because we are broke as crap right now and I pack a giant salad every day for
lunch with a boiled egg, carrots, and celery on it and that costs about 50
cents/meal.
I have many friends and
family members who are overweight/obese who are some of the most stunning women
I know. They have awesome skin or
ridiculous great hair and are 1000x more fashionable then me. I love this latest
Facebook trend that asks people to post 5 pictures you feel most beautiful in.
I had an overweight friend who told me even when she feels pretty, she feels
ashamed saying it. I think it’s probably therapeutic for some people to declare
publicly that they feel beautiful.
Scream it to the mountain tops, because you are beautiful! And it is
more then ok to feel so!
BUT. Here comes the but. Just
because one is beautiful does not mean that we should stop trying to be better.
I think we need to separate the ideas of ‘beautiful’ and ‘healthy.’ What do I
see when I have a patient who is this stunning women with a super great outfit
on…who also happens to be over weight? I see a high risk for diabetes, heart
disease, and a list of other health issues. So ladies, if weight is something
that you struggle with, you are most certainly beautiful, but that doesn’t mean
we can’t stop improving ourselves. I often hear/read “I’m finally learning to accept my
body how it is.” Nooo! That breaks my heart. You are
so beautiful, and I want you to live a healthy long life! Just because I’m
shaped like Justin Bieber doesn’t mean I don’t need to exercise and eat good
food too.
So here are my final
thoughts:
At a recent Christian
Medical and Dental Association dinner we talked about Philippians 4:8. It says, “Finally, brothers and sisters,
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy—meditate on such things.”
The only way to truly change somebody’s life and help them is to
affirm them and meet them where they are. So instead of scolding a patient with
diabetes who just told me that they are still drinking 5 regular Pepsis every
day, instead I should say “I realize that that must be difficult to admit to me
because you know I want your blood sugar levels to be better. Thank you for
being brave and honest. I know you really must want your health to improve
otherwise you wouldn’t have told me that.”
People who are overweight have to wear their health issue
externally for the entire world to scrutinize. I’ve got my own problems, and I
am so thankful I don’t have to display them for everybody to see every day and
I can’t image how difficult that must be. So rather then point out somebody’s
imperfections, do as Philippians 4:8 says and mediate on what is right, pure,
lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy about them. If you see them at
the gym or outside exercising, make them feel welcome and say hello! Maybe even
introduce yourself so you can call them by name next time you see them. Gyms
and places of exercise, such as the greenway, are scary places for
somebody out of shape. If you see them over and over again, tell them you
admire their dedications! If you like their outfit, if they did something great
at work, etc, say so! The world is really just one big community, and we need to
take care of each other. We can start by affirming what is lovely about
each other so we have the courage and confidence to start working on what could
be better.
So here are my 5 pictures.
I feel beautiful when I spend time outside.
I feel beautiful when I feel strong.
I feel beautiful when I spend time with Seth, who encourages and loves me.
I feel beautiful when I am with my family, because I smile and laugh a lot.
I feel beautiful when I spend time in beautiful places.
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