Body Image and The Separation of Beauty and Health

Body image. What a loaded topic but the world needs to start talking about it. We live in a society with one of the strangest paradigms. We are the most obese and unhealthy we have ever been but yet perhaps the most obsessed with being thin. Here are my thoughts on this (fyi, I’ll be talking more women because I am female. I realize men have body image issues too but I am not a male, therefore feel weird addressing that):

First of all, I know that there are many different body types. My sweet Gram made me very aware of this on my last visit home in March. She was comparing how differently my sister and I were shaped. She compared Rach to Jennifer Lopez and then concluded about me, “Not you Mon. You more like that Justin Bieber boy.”  Thanks Gram. However, replay that in your head said by a tiny Filipino woman in broken English and it can never be insulting. But that is not what this is about.

So anyways, I realize much of what I’m about to say is easy for me sitting here at 5’2” with a similar frame as Justin Bieber. But here it goes:

We have a problem. Our country is obese. People who we now consider ‘average’ or just ‘over weight’ are in reality actually obese because the bell curve of our society’s weight distribution has shifted to the right. But lots of these women are so beautiful!!

First, what is beauty anyways? Historically, beauty has been associated with actually being overweight. If you look at historical paintings, the women are much fuller. But back then, that meant you had money for food, lived a stable life, and perhaps didn’t have to do manual labor all day. What about now? Beauty is considered very thin and fit. Is that because thin fit people have more time to exercise? They have money for gym memberships? Don’t say because they have money for healthy food because we are broke as crap right now and I pack a giant salad every day for lunch with a boiled egg, carrots, and celery on it and that costs about 50 cents/meal.

I have many friends and family members who are overweight/obese who are some of the most stunning women I know.  They have awesome skin or ridiculous great hair and are 1000x more fashionable then me. I love this latest Facebook trend that asks people to post 5 pictures you feel most beautiful in. I had an overweight friend who told me even when she feels pretty, she feels ashamed saying it. I think it’s probably therapeutic for some people to declare publicly that they feel beautiful.  Scream it to the mountain tops, because you are beautiful! And it is more then ok to feel so!

BUT. Here comes the but. Just because one is beautiful does not mean that we should stop trying to be better. I think we need to separate the ideas of ‘beautiful’ and ‘healthy.’ What do I see when I have a patient who is this stunning women with a super great outfit on…who also happens to be over weight? I see a high risk for diabetes, heart disease, and a list of other health issues. So ladies, if weight is something that you struggle with, you are most certainly beautiful, but that doesn’t mean we can’t stop improving ourselves. I often hear/read “I’m finally learning to accept my body how it is.” Nooo! That breaks my heart. You are so beautiful, and I want you to live a healthy long life! Just because I’m shaped like Justin Bieber doesn’t mean I don’t need to exercise and eat good food too.

So here are my final thoughts:

At a recent Christian Medical and Dental Association dinner we talked about Philippians 4:8.  It says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—meditate on such things.”

The only way to truly change somebody’s life and help them is to affirm them and meet them where they are. So instead of scolding a patient with diabetes who just told me that they are still drinking 5 regular Pepsis every day, instead I should say “I realize that that must be difficult to admit to me because you know I want your blood sugar levels to be better. Thank you for being brave and honest. I know you really must want your health to improve otherwise you wouldn’t have told me that.”

People who are overweight have to wear their health issue externally for the entire world to scrutinize. I’ve got my own problems, and I am so thankful I don’t have to display them for everybody to see every day and I can’t image how difficult that must be. So rather then point out somebody’s imperfections, do as Philippians 4:8 says and mediate on what is right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy about them. If you see them at the gym or outside exercising, make them feel welcome and say hello! Maybe even introduce yourself so you can call them by name next time you see them. Gyms and places of exercise, such as the greenway, are scary places for somebody out of shape. If you see them over and over again, tell them you admire their dedications! If you like their outfit, if they did something great at work, etc, say so! The world is really just one big community, and we need to take care of each other. We can start by affirming what is lovely about each other so we have the courage and confidence to start working on what could be better.

So here are my 5 pictures. 

I feel beautiful when I spend time outside.

I feel beautiful when I feel strong. 

I feel beautiful when I spend time with Seth, who encourages and loves me.

I feel beautiful when I am with my family, because I smile and laugh a lot.

I feel beautiful when I spend time in beautiful places.

How I am learning to change the world on my Infectious Disease rotation.

First let me begin with some school logistics, because it is pertinent to a point I’d like to get across today. I just started my elective rotation in infectious disease. One of my favorite classes in undergrad was microbiology, and I did research with the bacteria Pseudomonas. I remember that period of my education. I LOVED learning. One of my favorite parts of the day was going to that class, studying for it, going to do my research, or reading articles to prepare my research. I chose an infectious disease rotation because of this, but sadly Monday morning on my first day I wasn’t excited at all to go in.

PA school is a learning lover killer. It’s where people who love to learn go to intellectually die. It basically takes 4 years of medical school, does some condensing, but then essentially shoves it into 2 years and then you’re expected to go off into the world after that time and take care of people. It’s horrible. The classic analogy is trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant. Anyways…lately I have thought and said, “I am really just tired of learning.” Last month I was on OB/Gyn (Women’s Health), and although I didn’t mind it, I only ‘minded it.’ That’s the point.

I just finished my first week on infectious disease and all I can say is that my love for learning has been reawakened. We are all wired to love different things, and I have been wired with a special affection for microbes. I could eat, drink, live all things bacteria, viruses, and fungi. I don’t know why, but I just love ‘em! And I am excited to come home and study about them regardless that I just spent a long day at the hospital!

Microbes are so fascinating; but they are not the sole cause of this love for learning re-awakening. So what has evoked this? My attending physician overseeing me and the residents. This man takes so much extra time to talk me through every single patient, asks questions to help me process through their signs and symptoms, tests to be ordered, a diagnosis, and treatment plan. It would be much faster and easier if he just told me what they have, why, and what we’re going to do for them. When we go see patients, he introduces me to every single one. I feel like I matter, that I am contributing, and that my education is important to him. He includes me in discussions with other physicians and asks what I think. He will do menial tasks like get me a pair of gloves or showing me how to do a basic trick on the electronic medical record software. He also takes so much time with each of the patients, explaining to them what is going on, asks them about their families, asks them about their lives, and is just so sincerely kind to them.

In the basic gist: he cares about people, a lot. He respects and serves people, in big tasks like taking care of their life threatening infections to showing me a trick on the computer to make the resident’s lives easier. After an afternoon with him I have learned so much, not only because he has a wealth of information to share but because I feel included and that what I am contributing is important.

Some of you reading this may feel like your job or what you do with your time isn’t important and that it makes no difference, but I am telling you that it does. We have small interactions with lots of people on a daily basis, and doing something as simple as fetching a pair of rubber gloves from a cardboard box stuck to the wall for the PA student is hugely impactful on the quality of her education. We can all be impactful in big ways with small things, and it all starts with just caring about each other.