Mother’s Day. It’s coming up this Sunday. Holidays like this
are meant to be celebrated, but with them comes lots of baggage and
awkwardness. Me for example: I don’t have a mom. Many people know this. Without
going into too many details, basically since I was 11-12ish I haven’t had one. Starting
around age 11, mom was in and out with lots of ugliness in between ultimately
resulting in my dad officially a single parent by the time I was 15. Some
people (insensitive ones might I add) say “well it’s not like you were a baby
when she left.” Right. She was only the most abusive and then completely absent
during very pivotal times of growth and development into a young adult. That’s
much better. Thanks @$$hole (sorry, but sometimes dingleberry just doesn’t cut
it for a noun).
So anyways. back to
Mother’s Day. I always have mixed feelings about this holiday. I am not upset
or angry at my mom for what happened anymore. But it’s just so dang sad! It
weighs heavy on my heart that she is missing out on my sister and I’s life. It
makes me sad that my poor dad had to go through the loss of a marriage and also
carry the great task of dealing with 2 pre-teen/teenage girls on his own. It
also makes me wonder what the future holds for me as I become a mom one day and
the fact I just don’t really know what that looks like.
But in the midst of all this yuckiness, there are lots of
wonderful mom/female figures in my life. First of all, my Gram. Grandma Gloria
is actually my maternal grandmother, but she has always and is a huge part of
my life regardless that my mom is no longer part of my life. My mom’s entire
side is actually fairly dysfunctional, but my Gram is the kindest, gentlest
woman on this planet and always rescuing everybody. She truly is the matriarch
that holds the universe together. Not to mention, how many 81 year olds do you
know still fish, pick berries, and camp in the wilderness of Alaska? Then there
is wonderful Holly, Dad’s fiancé. Holly has been around for, what seems like,
forever, and her and Dad made the transition of joining our families very
gracefully. She is everything I could ever want for my dad, and everything I
would want for a step-mom. There’s also Elizabeth, my mother-in-law, who since
Seth and I started dating back in high school has welcomed me into their family
as one of her and Rob’s own. So am I sad about my mom? Yes, but quite frankly,
my dad is a better mom then some moms are and I have so many wonderful women in
my life.
So this Mother’s Day, lets celebrate all kinds of motherly
love we receive from all kinds of people. <3
