Newly Married Logistics PTSD. Reflecting on our first few weeks of marriage and the future.

Let me begin with the first few days of Seth and I’s marriage. Many people have heard this story.

Seth and I got married Saturday, August 10^th. We went away to a lodge up in the mountains in Cooper Landing, Alaska until Tuesday, and then Wednesday we flew to Columbus, OH with nothing but our luggage and ourselves. Literally. Up until that point we had each lived separately in the dorms, so we had not a single kitchen utensil, piece of furniture, etc. We had an apartment waiting for us in Marietta that we had never seen (shout out to Emily Garrity for checking it out for us), but not a single thing in it. We had no car. Nothing. There were a few wedding gifts on their way from Alaska, but otherwise we just had some gift cards (and praise Jesus for those gift cards. More about these later) and clothes.

So we arrived in Columbus, OH on our 5^th day of marriage. My best friend Cally and her dad picked us up from the airport, we went to a car lot and said “we have about $3000. Which one can we have?” and had the choice between an old Ford Focus with no AC, a Honda Accord with >300,000 miles on it, or a Volvo with a mysterious noise. We chose the Honda (still driving it, fyi). We now have a car. Check. Awake for probably over 24 hours from traveling by now, we then went out to eat, then drove 2.5 hours to Marietta. We arrived in Marietta to our apartment and dumped our luggage. We had a storage unit full of our dorm stuff (books, office supplies, etc), so we drove there in a desperate exhaustive search for our coveted full sized air mattress. It’s probably 7 or 8pm by then, going on 30ish hours with no sleep, and with no avail, we could not find the air mattress. We gave up and drove back to our new apartment, pulled a bunch of clothes out of our bags, and that is what we slept on (in addition to piling clothes on top of ourselves). The next morning, with sore backs but rested!, we showered in our shower that had no curtain and got water ALL OVER the carpet (that’s how nice our first apartment was, it had 1970s carpet even in the bathroom), and needless to say we went on a mattress hunt. First we checked out 2 places that either A) were too expensive or B) couldn’t be delivered that day. On our 3^rd place, in more exhausted desperation I dumped a pile of those blessed gift cards out of my purse on the counter and said “I think I have a few more somewhere if need be, but which bed can we get with these?” and so we finally got a bed. The next couple days was a mad dash to get EVERYTHING one needs to live, poor Seth was putting together cheap furniture for 3 days straight, and a few days later junior year of college started. And so our marriage had began…

That was probably the craziest 2 weeks of my life to date. In that short time, we got married, bought a car, completely moved into an apartment starting from absolutely nothing, and started our 2^nd half of college. At the time we were exhausted, desperately trying to get an apartment livable off of a pile of gift cards, but happy and excited on newly wed adrenaline. I look back on those first few days of our marriage with love, nostalgia, and laughter. I am proud of us for doing it all on our own. We had a car with an unheard of amount of miles and a really crappy apartment, but it was our car and our apartment and we had worked really hard for those things. Matter of fact, Seth worked I think over 115 hours THE WEEK BEFORE OUR WEDDING just for some extra cash. We were 19 and 20 and wanted to be married and start our lives together. And go to college. So we did.

 So anyways, I graduate from PA school in December, and the current plan is to move to Seattle (99.9% sure). That is another FAR FAR move. The move from Ohio to Virginia was only a 4.5 hour drive, so that wasn’t too bad. But I forsee having some of the same experiences we had those first few weeks of our marriage. At least this next giant move we have a tiny bit more then a purse full of gift cards, starting with a car (everyone say a little prayer that the Honda will make it. Really. Do it right now, because I think we plan on driving), but we will probably just sell all our stuff and start over. I am excited about it. It’s an adventure! But I’m also having a tiny bit of PTSD from those first few weeks because it was just absolute craziness. From Alaska to Ohio to Virginia to Washington. What an interesting time in our lives this has been and will be. I am a habitual planner and organization freak, but I’m actively trying to soak up every last moment of Roanoke/east coast goodness and time with our friends here. I’ve just been thinking a lot about what the next stage of life will be for us and all the logistics that goes with it. Until then, still loving my pediatrics rotation and headed to Alaska in a short week and a half to spend the month with my big sis in Anchorage. <3

Pediatrics and 50 Shades of Grey

I am currently doing my pediatrics rotation in Dobson, NC. I must say that I am LOVING it. A lot of people who know me well would say that's craziness, because I frequently say I don't like little kids that much. That is true, but I find their neurological development and health really fascinating. A lot of the patients I see are 'well child visits.' Just regular physicals for kids, and depending on their age, they should be reaching different cognitive, social, or motor function milestones. For example, by 2 months a baby should be smiling. By 6 months they should have the motor coordination to hold their bottle themselves to eat. By 2 years, you should be able to understand every word the child says. So you have them do all these funny things in the office to make sure they are reaching these milestones, and if they aren't you go on a hunt to figure out why not. Is the 2 year old not saying many words because they have hearing issues and language isn't developing properly? Or are they just the youngest of 4 siblings that are all under the age of 5 and don't get a word in most day? Also, kids are not just tiny adults physiologically. If a kid comes in complaining of belly pain, your list of possible diagnoses is going to be very different from a 25 year old. Interesting! One more thing: I get to do a lot of family education on nutrition and exercise. These two things are the cornerstone of health, and when we are kids is the time to start establishing good habits.

On another note, I am in North Carolina staying at a B&B M-F. I get to come home on weekends. The bed and breakfast is BEAUTIFUL. It is an old farm house that the inn keeper inherited from their great uncle that has been in the family since 1840. It it situated in the NC mountains with a vineyard out back, and I have a working fireplace in my room. Pretty snazzy. With that being said, being away from Seth is hard. We knew going into PA school that we would probably have to spend some time apart, and we have been preparing for that, but I miss him like crazy anyways. I'll also be gone the entire month of March in Alaska AND back to North Carolina in April for my surgery rotation, which I don't get to come home at all. I'll be home for about a week between March and April though. So anyways, the next 3 months is my away rotations marathon, but we just try to remember that these rotations are the coveted pediatric and surgery rotations. March I'm doing internal medicine at a diabetes clinic in Anchorage. Mostly I just wanted to go back to Alaska and live with my big sis for a month. :) Also, 3 months of our lives is such a short period of time. And we don't have kids. So if there's a time to do this, this is the time.


Ok so one controversial topic I wanted to just put my opinion out there: this 50 Shades of Grey book/movie. Let me begin with this:

I think pornography is heartbreaking for many reasons. First, the sex industry fuels the demand for sexual abuse and slavery. If there is a demand via the number of people watching pornography, there will be an effort to supply the demand. Also, the rate of STDs in people who work in the sex industry is astounding. People DIE from STDS. Our society kind of jokes about STDS, but really, most STDS cause a slow and horrible death. Secondly, pornography ruins people's lives. There is plenty of evidence behind the addictive and psychological damage pornography causes. Not to mention it is hurtful to relationships. I could discuss this for hours and go into great detail, but I won't.

So here's my question: I do not think it is ethical for men (or women) to watch pornography, for their own health and also the dignity and safety of the people in the movie. So why should I think it is ok for women to read pornography? I personally have not read the books, but from what I've been told they are explicitly pornographic. I've also heard that if they stick to the book for the movie, there is no way it will pass for rated R.

If you don't feel as if pornography is unethical, then by all means it doesn't make sense for you to refrain from reading the books. I'm not judging you, but I do get weirded out when you just openly talk about the books in public or post on Facebook how excited you are about the movie. What would us ladies think if we walked by a table of men having a discussion about a pornographic video they all had watched? I once saw a woman post on FB asking if anyone had the 50 Shades series they could borrow. What if a man posted "Hey heard this video was awesome. Can someone let me borrow it?" Umm, super weird.  (<-- forgive my gender stereotypes. Just trying to articulate my thought clearly). Lastly, some people may say that 'women don't struggle with pornography like men do' so it's ok. Sure, maybe not quantitatively, but there are women out there who struggle with the addictive nature and damage of pornography and now we're just glorifying their struggle by reading it.

So mostly that rant was for those who find pornography unethical but think it's ok to participate in the 50 Shades of Grey franchise. It just doesn't make any logical sense.

Anyways, it's Saturday night and I have less then 24 hours with Seth, Coop, and Soph. Adios! I'm off to fill up my family time tank.